18 Phrases That Instantly Reveal Someone’s True Intentions
Whether you are at work or on a date, some telltale phrases can help you reveal a person’s intentions, regardless of how nice or sincere they might present themselves. Finding a genuine partner or a friend is a blessing, but relying on your instincts might not be enough. Here are some red flags that could help uncover one’s real intentions.
“To be honest…”
If someone has to announce they will be honest, it is a good indicator that they are not sincere most of the time. This phrase is usually followed by something hurtful, so they try hiding it by claiming they were just being honest. Many people will also lie in your face, claiming they are truthful.
“Trust me…”
Trust is earned, so a person convincing you to trust them might be up to no good. When someone close to you wants to tell you something, they come up and tell it as it is. They do not use these phrases of reassurance or persuasion to be taken seriously. If you hear this phrase, pause and think about what comes after it.
“I am a good person”
What does it mean to announce that you’re a good person? If someone has to declare this as a fact, something could be off. This phrase is usually used when someone’s trying to deflect, place blame, or convince you that whatever you heard about them is untrue, meaning everyone else is a liar. So, the next time someone starts with this phrase, ask them what that means.
“I am not a bad person”
Some people want to reassure themselves and others that they are actually good people. But it is just another empty phrase that can be used to deflect from someone’s actions or words. People don’t have to declare their decency, but if they do, pause and reflect on what comes next.
“I hate to tell you…”
Unless you’re about to hear that Santa’s not real or any other joke, this phrase is likely followed by something terrible with a twist. The person who is the bearer of the bad news is happy to give you the news. They do not hate telling you whatever it may be since their empathy is misplaced. A real friend will offer support and compassion, not beat around the bush.
“That’s not what I meant”
Chances are the person said something harmful or hurtful, and yes, they meant it. However, since it does not look good for them, they will start defending and minimizing their statement. It can be a sign of gaslighting or someone too insecure to stand behind their words.
“The real problem is…”
Perhaps you wanted to change the subject, but a person is trying to maintain control of the conversation by stating something so grandiosely. It can also convince you to agree with something that doesn’t resonate with your opinion because it is hard to argue with the real problem.
“I was just kidding”
This saying is commonly used to gaslight someone. It is supposed to make you feel as if you’re overly sensitive and can’t take a joke, regardless of how tasteless it is. It often comes after a mean observation, and it diminishes your feelings. Clearly, this phrase is a red flag and could hide someone’s narcissistic nature.
“I don’t want to be rude, but…”
This is a common phrase, and you likely know nothing good comes from it. A person will criticize you, and it won’t be polite. However, when they start a sentence like this, they leave you no room to offer a valid explanation or tell your side of the story. You can’t even defend yourself because they declared they did not want to be rude.
“That’s just how I am…”
It may sound like the person is straightforward, but again, we have a big announcement, and people who are genuine do not need them. It is an excellent way for someone to avoid accountability. People are capable of change, but those who do not want to face repercussions will use this phrase to manipulate others.
“I’m just saying”
This is another expression in which your feelings are dismissed, and you have little or no room to present an argument. It sounds friendly enough, which is why the phrase is often overlooked. However, criticizing and influencing someone by creating self-doubt can be (un)consciously manipulative.
“I hate drama”
This peace-loving statement usually comes from people who thrive in chaos and love creating drama. It is a way to prepare you that if you get into an argument, you will be the one to blame. They might be troublemakers, but this saying is a perfect way for them to start presenting themselves as a victim.
“Don’t take this personally…”
It is usually followed by “but,” and it is almost always personal. This phrase only sounds like the person wants to protect when, in reality, they want to insult or manipulate you. They merely want to create an atmosphere where their comment or unsolicited advice could sound like a friendly reminder.
“Everyone knows/agrees…”
Beware of people who start a sentiment with “everyone.” They are imposing their belief, opinions, or critics by assuring you that you are in the wrong and the whole world knows it. Essentially, these people are taking away your choices, and since “everyone” agrees with them, you can’t be the odd one out.
“You’re so sensitive”
The infamous manipulative “You are so sensitive” statement is made to make you feel smaller regardless of your feelings, thoughts, or boundaries. It is a major red flag because it can lead to harsh criticism and rude behavior, but you won’t be able to react without being “called out” over your sensitivity. Besides, who said that sensitivity is terrible? And how do we measure it?
“No offense, but…”
People who want to drop an offensive bomb will likely start with “No offense, but…” Your friends won’t have a problem telling you that your skirt might be too short or that you have been spending too much on your phone. But this phrase is created so you can’t disagree with someone’s disrespectful or vicious comments. Try to pause and watch what they say next.
“It’s up to you, but…”
If it is up to you, there is no need for “but.” If you want an opinion, you’ll ask for it. This is a manipulative way for someone to force their opinion on you while pretending to be friendly and respectful. If a decision is yours to make, don’t make someone’s “but” make you question everything.
“I was just trying to help”
If someone gives you unsolicited advice or unwanted comments, they might hide behind this statement. This usually has nothing to do with helping, and in some situations, it can be used to de-escalate an argument. However, in others, it is a way to force you to listen to someone’s opinion regardless of your boundaries.
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