4 Things Christians Do That Irritate Non-Christians

It’s common for non-Christians to have different views and lifestyles compared to devout Christians, yet certain aspects about those who ‘follow’ Jesus’ teachings can be particularly irritating for them—especially when they see that Jesus Himself didn’t act as some modern Christians do today.

Hypocrisy

The term ‘hypocrite’ might pop up when talking about Christians, pointing out a common problem: saying one thing and doing another. And it’s not just outsiders who notice this— many Christians themselves admit they struggle to live up to their own standards.

Jesus Calls Out Hypocrisy

Jesus, who Christians aim to follow, called the things by their right name. For example, when He encountered the religious leaders of his time, known as the Pharisees, he didn’t mince words, labeling them hypocrites for their focus on outward appearances while neglecting inner sincerity. 

Superficial Righteousness vs. True Faith

According to Jesus, their superficial righteousness masked inner corruption, misleading others about their true nature and misrepresenting the essence of their faith. This deception, he pointed out, skewed their understanding of God and disheartened those around them.

The Slow Road to Genuine Faith

For Christians, being real about their flaws is part of their faith journey. 

This process, known as sanctification, doesn’t make someone perfect overnight but encourages them to gradually get better at being exactly who they say they are.

Christian Humility and Honesty

In practical terms, Christians are encouraged to close the gap between their ideals and their behaviors by practicing humility and honesty in their communications. 

This approach fosters a more accurate representation of their faith and personal integrity, striving to mirror the transformative power of Christ in their lives.

Controversial Views on Homosexuality

One aspect that often challenges non-Christians’ perceptions of Christianity is the issue of homosexuality. Historically, many Christian doctrines have labeled homosexual acts as sinful, citing interpretations of biblical texts that date back to the first millennium AD. This stance has been deeply embedded in the teachings of numerous Christian denominations.

Modern Christianity and Sexual Orientation

The contemporary landscape within Christianity shows a broad spectrum of beliefs about homosexuality and sexual orientation. Some scholars and theologians argue that the scriptures do not explicitly condemn homosexuality as a sin against God. 

This has led to a diversity of views within individual denominations, where not every member necessarily agrees with the official church stance.

Varied Stances on LGBTQ Rights

Today, the response to homosexuality within Christianity varies widely. While the Eastern Orthodox and Roman Catholic Churches continue to oppose homosexual acts, many mainline Protestant denominations have adopted more inclusive practices, such as blessing homosexual clergy and endorsing same-sex marriages. 

This variation reflects a broader dialogue within the faith about understanding and interpreting Christian teachings in the context of modern values and human rights.

Judgmental Attitude Towards Non-Christians

One prevalent opinion among young Americans today is that Christians are judgmental. A study targeting the 16–29 age group found that almost 90 percent of participants perceive Christians and their faith practices in this light.

Rational vs. Unfair Christian Judgments

While making judgments can sometimes be rational and necessary—like deciding not to drive on icy roads or waiting for coffee to cool—it’s the personal, harsh, and unfair judgments that stir significant discontent.

The Problem with Demeaning Judgments

Instead of constructive critique, many see this judgmental attitude as a manifestation of self-righteousness, an attempt to elevate one’s moral standing by demeaning others. Perhaps some people like to feel good about themselves, or assert some type of dominance, by pointing out other people’s ‘flaws’. 

Reality TV and Religious Judgments

This tendency isn’t confined to religious circles—it echoes through our fascination with reality TV and talk shows that often highlight human flaws, possibly making us feel superior by comparison. On social media, the narrative continues with Christians often spotted condemning others over lifestyle or political choices.

Biblical Advice on Judging Others

Ironically enough, Christian teachings actually discourage a judgmental attitude. 

This principle is encapsulated in the Bible, specifically in Matthew 7, where it advises against judging others to avoid being judged in the same manner. It questions why one would focus on minor flaws in others while overlooking greater faults in oneself.

Paul’s Humble Dialogue in Athens

In Acts 17, Paul engages with the Athenians, who were notably devout. Instead of judging, he starts by inquiring about their beliefs, leading to constructive dialogues and an invitation to speak with city leaders. His approach was to converse boldly yet humbly.

Regrettably, not all Christians model their faith communication after the Apostle Paul.

Adopting Paul’s Method in Faith

John Stackhouse, a professor at Regent College, suggests Christians could benefit greatly from adopting Paul’s method. This involves asking questions, acknowledging the strengths and weaknesses of others’ viewpoints, expressing appreciation for different perspectives, and admitting ignorance when unsure of an answer. 

These steps, while straightforward, can be challenging to implement consistently.

Christians’ Superficial Friendships

Friendship is more complex than we often expect. It’s rare to find that ideal friend who shares all your interests and views. Even in the best marriages, the deepest connections come from overcoming significant challenges, not from perpetual agreement.

Church Life vs. Meaningful Relationships

One significant hurdle between Christians and non-Christians is the lack of effort on the part of many Christians to forge genuine friendships with those outside their faith. 

With church activities consuming much of their schedule and a fear of engaging with the secular world, many Christians ‘miss out’ on authentic relationships with non-believers.

Relational Gaps

As a result, non-Christians often end up observing Christians rather than connecting with them relationally. They see instances of judgment and hypocrisy and form their opinions based on these observations.

Jesus’ Approach to Friendship

Contrastingly, Jesus exemplified a different approach. He actively sought out friendships with people very different from Himself—individuals whose lifestyles deviated significantly from what He taught. He dined at their homes, traveled with them, and shared in their daily lives. 

This approach was radical enough to shock the religious leaders of His time, and it remains challenging for many today.

A Person or a Project?

Sometimes, when Christians do reach out, it’s more about seeing the person as a project rather than as a friend. But authenticity can be felt, and people quickly notice when they are being treated as a project rather than as a person.

Selective Intimacy in Christian Life

According to the Bible, fellowship among believers plays a key role in spiritual growth and encouragement. However, this doesn’t mean Christians strive to be close friends with everyone. 

The Risks of ‘Bad’ Company

Genuine friendship (for them) requires selectivity—Christians are called to love all, but intimacy is reserved for a few. The concern is that surrounding yourself with the ‘wrong’ friends—those who lead into temptation or poor decisions—can have detrimental effects on faith. 

The Book of Proverbs warns against the dangers of such associations, noting that bad company can lead to astray, bring shame upon families, and even result in financial ruin.

Can Christians Be True Friends?

True friendship involves exploring significant issues together in a natural and organic way, rooted in personal stories and genuine interest. Friends are those who enhance your life by offering support, boosting your self-confidence, and providing honest, unconditional love. 

However, non-Christians might sometimes feel that Christians, because of their faith practices, don’t fully embody these qualities. 

Feeling Judged and Excluded

This perception can stem from experiences where they felt judged or excluded by Christians, which can push them away rather than draw them closer. The challenge for Christians, then, is to demonstrate through their actions that their faith aligns with and actively promotes the virtues of true friendship. 

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