Being a single parent can bring a lot of challenges. One of those challenges is the restrictions on dating ability. However, being a single mom doesn’t have to mean that you do not date and cannot find love.
Sure, you may have come to accept that it will be just you and the kids for the foreseeable future. That’s fine. But if you do want to play the field, there are some options.
However, if you are hesitant to date because you are afraid that your post-baby body is unattractive or struggling with postpartum depression, you might be better off checking out BetterHelp or similar online counseling and therapy services. They can help you match with a therapist who can help you with these types of issues.
There are likely some things that you are, understandably, concerned about when it comes to dating. Let’s look at some of the things that may help you find love again as a single mom.
Ways to Find Love as a Single Mom
It’s a Package Deal
First, when you find someone, you need to make sure they know about the entire situation. They need to understand that a relationship with you comes with your children as well.
The person you date needs to understand and accept that your children are part of your life and that they take up a significant amount of your free time. If they are not ready for that, then you probably aren’t prepared for them.
Your kids will be your number one priority, and you have to consider their feelings as well. You will likely choose them over your partner no matter what happens, and you should find someone who isn’t bothered by that. It is also best to find someone who doesn’t mind doing things with your children. It will not always just be you and him.
Talk to Your Kids
Now, this is not necessarily applicable if your children are still babies, but it is good to keep in mind regardless. It is good to remember that not every relationship has to involve the children, but if there is a level of commitment where you can imagine the relationship lasting into the future, it is a good idea to talk to your children about it. If you do not see a future, it is best not to allow your children to become attached.
Let your kids know that you will always be there. They may be afraid that you will spend less time with them when you begin to date. Let them know that they have nothing to worry about. Also, let them know that they can talk to you about their concerns and fears.
Then, when you have decided that you want your children to meet the person you are dating, you may want to plan a fun activity for everyone. An activity provides a fun thing to do and can ease the nerves that anyone may feel about the situation.
Before you put yourself back onto the dating scene, you should make sure that you take care of yourself and are confident in yourself and your situation. This will allow you to project yourself in a positive way to those who you may want to date as well as to your children.
Having confidence will also allow you to be assertive and keep your priorities straight. You can even find a babysitter so that you can take a “me day” to go to get your hair or nails done or for a nice massage.
It can be hard to get the time and energy to find someone in person. Plus, you probably don’t have a lot of time without your kids away from home. However, online dating is certainly an option to keep in mind.
Meeting someone on the internet can also allow you to ease slowly into dating again. It may not seem like such a big step when you may not have been dating for months or even years. Online dating is extremely popular, and a lot of single parents find that it works for them because they can do it from the comfort of their homes at any time. It also allows you to disclose your situation without fearing any awkwardness that may come with telling someone in person.
Remember to Have Fun
Dating is supposed to be fun, and it can be. Enjoy the time you have with someone. It can be exciting to get to know someone, but if you are constantly worried, then it likely will not be fun at all.
You may find that being away from your children on a date makes you feel guilty. This is normal, but there is no reason to feel guilty. In fact, showing that you are confident and responsible can be a good thing for children to see in their role models.
Try not to worry about where the relationship could go, especially on the first couple of dates. Just enjoy yourself, and the time you have together. Try not to let your mind roam to the past or the future and live in the present.
It can be fun to date when you have kids, but you have to be ready first. Then, remember that it is supposed to be fun. You may even find that you meet someone while you are with your children at the park or grocery store. Just remember to disclose your situation to the people you date and talk to your children if you see the relationship progressing longer than a date or two.