To All The Overwhelmed Moms: You Aren’t Alone
Being a mom, you get a lot of ideas and advice from friends, family, and the internet about motherhood. However, nothing can prepare you enough for motherhood. Sometimes you feel you might be the happiest person alive, and other times, you feel overwhelmed by motherhood. It’s important to know that you’re not alone. At some point, all moms feel overwhelmed by the sheer responsibility of motherhood. If they can, you can conquer it too.
The hardest part of being a mom is creating a balance between everyday responsibilities and motherhood. And the quest to “become a perfect mom” often makes the matter worse for many moms. Yes! You might often feel exhausted, depressed, and overwhelmed as a mom, but there are some steps you can take to experience the joys of motherhood again.
Practical Tips For Overwhelmed Moms
1. Don’t Think You’re A Bad Mom If You Have a Messy House
You might think a messy house is a sign of a bad mom. Or having a clean house makes you happy. Don’t let these negative thoughts lower your self-confidence after having a baby.
It’s okay if the house is messy and the dishes and laundry aren’t always done. You are a mom now. Taking good care of your baby and yourself should be your top priority.
Don’t get overwhelmed thinking that you need a neat and clean house all the time. This adds extra pressure to your everyday responsibility as a mom. Instead, make a list of things that need to be done and rank them in order of priority. High priority must get finished that day or week, and other items can wait. One question might pop into your head: Where should I start? “One small step at a time, to a more peaceful you,” suggests Kathi Lipp to overwhelmed moms, author of Overwhelmed: How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity.
Instead of holding on to everything that might someday be a possibility, focus on what you can actually do today. Have fun with your kids, don’t make it all work, and no play for them either. They grow up too fast. When they grow up, they will not remember the dirty dishes and laundry. But they will remember the time spent with you enjoying them.
2. Overwhelmed Moms, Take Better Care of Yourself
Motherhood is a marathon journey, not a sprint. You need to keep your energy levels up in order to take care of your family. “It’s so important to find ways to ‘fill your own cup,’ even when it feels like there’s no time,” says Perry Noble, who is a New York Times Best Selling book author.
To be the best parent to your children, you need to be healthy; mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Don’t force yourself to the point of total exhaustion. Pamper yourself with a short nap just after nursing your baby, or head out to your favorite store with friends.
Treat your body with compassion. Your body goes through a lot of changes after a baby. While some changes are permanent, most changes are temporary. They can also affect your emotional state of being. Don’t just hang in there assuming it’ll get better. Find out what’s affecting your emotional well-being and take action. You will thank yourself later on.
3. Time Management is Crucial For Overwhelmed Working Moms
Time management is very important to any person tackling a number of roles in their life. As a busy working mom, you might feel like you have zero time in the day to get everything done. Or as a stay-at-home mom, you might think that it’s impossible to manage time to build your home-based business.
Yes, motherhood is hard. And time management is a difficult skill to master. But there are some strategies you can follow to manage stress and pursue your passion.
- Make a plan using a planner
- Set priorities and goals
- Split work and motherhood responsibilities
- Join a local working moms community for inspiration and motivation
Finally, read books on time management. These books might offer some practical advice for busy moms to pursue passions in the small increments of time that are presented to them while raising children.
4. Overwhelmed Moms, Build Your Support System
A support system is very important to overwhelmed moms. If you are a working mom, you need to build a support system both at home and at work. It can include family, friends, co-workers, supervisors, and others. They all need to be aware that you are juggling family and work, and just how important it is to you.
There will be some personal sacrifice on your part, but it won’t be forever, and the rewards are well worth it. Try to make a schedule and stick to it no matter what. Life happens, so sometimes you have to change plans. But for the most part, the closer to sticking to your schedule, the better. Make sure your support system knows your schedule and helps you to stick to it.
You don’t have to do it alone. Use available resources from your community and read books. You’ll be glad you did.
5. Forgive Yourself For Parenting Mistakes
There’s a lot of pressure around us to be perfect. In today’s distressed world, women trying their hardest to be good mothers often end up exhausted and overwhelmed.
As a new mom, the transition to motherhood seems hard. However, we make it harder for ourselves by embracing the maternal guilt trap. The guilt trap frequently snaps shut when we second-guess ourselves.
It sucks all the joy out of motherhood. The best thing that you can do is control the negative thoughts in your head. Instead of thinking, “What if I’d only done this” or “ What if I’d only done that” over and over, try thinking, “Whatever decision I make it will be the right one” over and over instead! Because you would never make a decision to place your child in harm, even when that is the only option ahead of you.
Parenting shouldn’t be a competitive sport. Just do it in your own way. Everyone struggles at some point in their parenting journey. Forgive yourself for your parenting mistakes and learn when and how to live in the moment.
Also, take the time to look at the big picture and refocus your priorities to achieve balance. Make sure you set aside a specific time to have fun as a family. Laugh a lot, especially with your children. The hard time will soon pass.
6. Remember That Being An Introverted Mom Doesn’t Mean You Are A Bad Mom
“If you’ve ever retreated behind your bedroom door and cried in overwhelm, you might be an introverted mother,” quote by Jamie C. Martin, author of Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy.
Being a mom and an introvert is one of the hardest things in the world. As an introverted mom, you might struggle with your shortcomings in your motherhood journey. You might so often collapse into tears after a play date or feel guilty about screen time. It’s also hard to know how to manage your energy levels and make room for what’s life-giving to you without feeling guilty.
However, you’re not alone in going through this. There are a lot of others out there like you. As an introverted mom, the best thing you can do is make peace with yourself. Remind yourself that you are just a simply introverted mom, not a bad mom. And you can still be a great mom with a quiet-time loving introvert inside.
7. Overwhelmed Moms, It’s Okay To Ask For Help
Prejudice, shame, and embarrassment are the major reasons why most moms don’t ask for help. Even if we have a very hard time balancing our responsibilities both at home and at work, we are convinced no one is going to help us. We feel isolated and overwhelmed. Unable to experience the joy of motherhood.
As a mom, you are expected to do it all: raise the kids, be there for a spouse, and earn a living. Yes, you can do things on your own, but your life will be so much easier if you get some assistance. You deserve help to be a happy mom and enjoy life.
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. You’ll never know unless you ask. People will support you if you let them. Get your friends and family members to help you during the difficult parenting journey.
8. Get Your Husband To Help You Around The House
You need to think about how parenting responsibilities should be shared. Collaborate together with your husband to identify the problems and possible solutions. Motherhood does give you that collaborative sense, but if you want to create a balance, you also need that fire in the belly desire to win every day.
If you have kids over two years old, get their help around the house too. Make them responsible for the condition of their room. Don’t punish your kids for not doing household chores. Instead, hold a family talk on how it would benefit everyone around the house. “Creating a family atmosphere of seeking solutions rather than inventing punishments will still stand you in good stead in the long run,” ― says Joanna Faber, author of How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7.
9. Rediscover Yourself and Be A Confident Mom
If you feel you have lost yourself after motherhood, it’s time to find your mojo again. There are some strategies you can follow to rediscover yourself after motherhood:
- Think hard about what you’re doing, how you’re spending your time, and what’s important to you
- Look forward to rediscovering your passions
- Get rid of mommy guilt
- Be kind to yourself
- Spend quality time with your partner
- Join mommy support communities
Making time for yourself is one of the hardest things to do as a mom. But, you have to do it anyway. “If we don’t feel like we have leisure, it’s entirely our own fault. Time is a smokescreen. And it’s a convenient excuse. Saying, ‘I don’t have time,’ is just another way of saying, ‘I’d rather do something else,” words of wisdom for overwhelmed moms from
10. Breathe, You Will Get Through It
Meditation is one of the easiest ways to avoid feeling overwhelmed. You can try the Headspace app when you feel overwhelmed with stress. All you need is five minutes.
You can also try mom prayers to keep you calm and composed. Don’t forget to check out some best motherhood quotes for overwhelmed moms too!
Don’t lose hope, overwhelmed moms – you’re more powerful than you think. Motherhood is a major transition, focusing on the above tips will make you a much better mom than you already are. Good Luck!