Quiet Quitting: Are Women Leaving Marriages Frivolously?
Are women divorcing for no reason? This has been a hot topic ever since it was revealed that women initiate 70% of divorces. The latest trend of “quiet quitting” had many husbands in shambles, so what’s happening with marriages and wives? Here are some explanations, some rather disturbing and others that will likely leave you fuming.
What’s quiet quitting?
A husband gets served divorce papers out of the blue. The wives checked out of marriages a while ago, but instead of arguing, they stopped communicating. According to therapists, many women get stuck in a freeze response, and they do the bare minimum until they are ready to file for divorce.
Lack of communication
Kara Kays, a family therapist, told Newsweek that quiet quitting is an extension of what has been happening for a while. Instead of open communication, people choose inaction or passiveness. Similar behaviors were seen at workplaces, where workers plan exit strategies while working without enthusiasm. In dating, more and more people choose ghosting over breaking up the typical way.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop
In marriages, one partner, usually the wife, checks out and waits for a sign that it is truly over. Many couples choose to go to therapy, but only when it is too late. It goes against the previous conviction that women want marriage more than men, and it might have to do with unpaid jobs most wives have to do on top of bringing home their work earnings.
Equals on paper
A recent Pew Research study found that women were stuck with most of the work around the house in marriages where spouses earned more or less equally. Women who don’t work but raise kids instead are often stuck in unhappy marriages, but they don’t have the finances to leave. Even worse, their needs are unmet even when they voice their concerns. So, as soon as they get jobs, they can move on.
Empty threats or not-so-empty after all
Husbands usually feel that their wives complain so much that they start believing they are making empty threats. They usually only realize the wives are unhappy once it’s too late. While husbands might feel blindsided, it often takes years of being unheard of for a wife to pack up and serve her husband divorce papers.
What’s inside today’s divorces?
75% of women cite lack of commitment as the reason for divorce. However, there are other reasons that women are often uncomfortable discussing. A study titled “Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education” explained what truly goes on behind closed doors.
Infidelity
In around 88% of couples filing for divorce, infidelity played a significant role. In almost 60% of cases, one partner cheated, while both cheated in 31.3%. So, in many cases, lack of commitment includes infidelity, or it could be a driving reason for the divorce.
Men are more prone to cheat than women, but it doesn’t mean that all wives are faithful. Regardless, there are more valid reasons for divorce.
Substance abuse
Another significant factor is substance abuse, which was a primary contributing factor to divorce by 34.6% of participants. Usually, people file for divorce after failed attempts at recovery. Most substance abusers are men, though, like with infidelity, it does not mean that women cannot use substances to deal with stress.
Abuse
Finally, a quarter of divorces were filed because of domestic violence, and as you know, men are more likely to be guilty of this. According to official statistics, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men are victims of domestic abuse, but 90% of those who commit physical abuse are men. Even worse, 95% of those who commit serious DV are men.
That explains why men regret divorce more often
73% of women reported having no regret over their divorce, compared to 61% of men, a study by Avvo found. Women are more easily adaptable to new circumstances. This tends to be more challenging for men, especially in marriages that lasted for decades.
Men after divorce
A study from the University of Nebraska found that men who had gone through a divorce were more susceptible to various illnesses. Men were more prone to depression and were more likely to use alcohol as a means of coping with their depression.
Quiet quitting speaks volumes
For many women, quiet quitting is caused because they do not want to waste time arguing anymore, and instead, they choose to focus on themselves. They no longer want to know what causes trouble in their marriages in the first place, nor do they want their partner’s approval.
Many women are choosing not to get married
While women initiate most divorces, many refuse to get married in the first place. This newer trend has been noticed worldwide, and researchers pointed out that the main reasons include infidelity, career opportunities, independence, and finding more security living with their families.
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