Should We Teach People How to Parent?
We get tests for everything, from driving to math or law, and without passing them, we fail. But what about parenting? It might be the most critical job in the world, but due to changes in society, people are unprepared, so they choose advice from less-than-reliable sources.
Parenting in the modern world
Parenting skills (or lack of it) have been a hot topic for a minute before the pandemic, but thanks to Faith Hill, the Atlantic writer, we are again discussing why teaching people to parent might make sense in today’s world. It does not help that today’s parents face more than a fair share of brand-new challenges, yet they were never as alone.
It takes a village
Parents used to rely on communities, so while it appeared to be by instinct, it was by observing. Hill notes that extended families were more involved in childcare, as well as neighbors, so by the time people became parents, they did not feel as if they were thrown to the wolves.
Shrinking communities
Trust in doctors is declining, writes Hill, but so is congregation membership. Only 100 years ago, villages or communities would share their wisdom and prepare new parents, especially moms. Since then, people have started believing it comes naturally, but by the time you figure out how to handle one issue, a new one arises.
Relying on various sources
The rise of social media parenting tips and books on parenting seemed like a saving grace until most realized that people were talking about their experiences. That’s vastly different from a village, where young moms would get advice from several women, who also had support from their peers, preparing them for endless challenges.
Parenting in today’s America
Parents, in most cases, are isolated, and so are children. The Pew Research Center found that the most pressing issue for parents is their child’s mental health, including anxiety, depression, and bullying. The same researchers found that most parents found it much more challenging than they thought. Despite being stressful, it is equally rewarding.
Life skills that could be part of the curriculum
Many people pointed out that children are being taught things that are, in many cases, useless once they pass the class. Take trigonometry, for example. It will be used by one percent, but it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t exist as part of the curriculum. However, what is lacking are essential life skills, from 401k to taxes and the ever-changing landscape of raising children. The basics could help make it easier for parents-to-be to seek help from experts when the time comes.
The benefits of parenting-education programs
Based on The Pew Research Center’s findings, it is clear that most parents want their children to be well, happy, and adjusted, but many need more guidance. Hill cited the Wilder Center’s researchers, who found that parenting education programs help with parental mental health and increase interactions between kids and children’s behavior. Perhaps most importantly, it improves the parent-child relationship.
Childbirth classes are common
Unlike parenting education programs, many parents enjoy childbirth classes, but once the baby comes, everything stops. Pre-birth classes deal with not just the labor but other common issues until the baby’s arrival. Parenting education, in contrast, is not a popular option despite numerous benefits.
Why not learn how to parent?
For one, Hill writes that the cost of these classes is a significant obstacle. Speaking to Shauna Tominey, an Oregon State University professor, Hill found that though these classes cannot prepare parents for every challenge, they connect families and give advice to make new parents feel more in control. However, the price makes them less accessible.
Asking for help should not be that difficult
Dorian Traube, the dean of Washington University in St. Louis’s social work school, reminds that asking for help is always tricky, but with parenting, there is a sense that it is deeply personal. Traube points out that many would be alarmed if parenting felt regulated because most people believe it is something that comes naturally. But it doesn’t.
Parents only ask for help when they are in over their heads
Parenting educators noticed that once the parents come into “classrooms,” it is usually because they are beyond exhausted and out of their depths. Some people want classes in Spanish to help their children connect with their Latino cousins, while others are seeking ways to help children with disabilities. Regardless, over 90 percent of parents recommend parenting classes, so they must provide good information and ways to bond as a family.
Previous similar programs
Parenting difficulties began long before social media and the rise of self-help books. Hill shared that in the 80s, Oregon had a free home visitation program. Educators would come to parents and support them while sharing their wisdom. There are always unexpected challenges, but when you don’t have to think about every move, it is easier to think clearly.
Room for improvement
Due to finances or simply not wanting the government to be part of parenting, parents can still find ways to help each other out sans influencers. If organized and in touch with a parenting couch, these classes can be made affordable and benefit navigating modern society’s demands and long working hours, with helpful advice and a stronger sense of support. It could be the XXI century version of a village.
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