Why Maternal Grandparents Often Form Closer Bonds with Grandkids Than Paternal Ones
Maternal grandparents have an advantage regarding closeness to their grandchildren, which is highly accurate in the case of maternal grandmothers. This advantage is not random, and numerous researchers have identified some common denominators that might make paternal grandparents feel left out.
Maternal grandmothers are the most caring
A UK survey of 1,400 children shared that children get the most attention from their maternal grandmothers. The second in this survey was the grandfather from the mother’s side. Researchers from the University of Turku in Finland suggested that women are evolutionarily “trained” to care for children, and maternal grandparents will do more to help their daughters with their grandchildren.
The connection starts early
This connection with the maternal grandmother may often start as early as birth. Maternal grandparents may attend the birth or be by the mother’s side right after the birth. They also play an essential role in the postpartum period, where women are prone to postpartum depression.
The relationship does not deteriorate with time
As children enter their teen years, their relationship with their maternal grandmother remains the same in most cases. A British study found that 8 in 10 teens and their maternal grandmothers discussed the future, and grandmas gave solid advice. This is particularly important since teens are old enough to initiate contact, so they choose to be close to maternal grandmothers.
Role of divorce
After a divorce, only 17% of fathers get primary custody, and maternal grandparents often come to help out the child and the mother. Paternal grandparents don’t see the child as frequently, though this is when they could step up because a child needs plenty of love and support for their growth and development.
Other factors
Researchers also observed that most moms are closer to their parents than dads. Wives can develop loving relationships with in-laws, but it may feel as if they each have to prove to be worth it. Additionally, women organize meet-ups, and that’s why connecting with maternal family members seems easier.
Matrilineal advantage does exist
While this is not the case in every culture, in the US and Europe, matrilineal advantage is accurate, as New York Times science columnist Paula Span suggested after talking to a number of sociologists and psychologists. She concluded that mothers and daughters tend to be uniquely close, and daughters are more likely to maintain family bonds.
The closeness between moms and daughters
Karen Fingerman teaches human development and family sciences at the University of Texas. She suggests that this closeness between mothers and daughters reflects on children. Jan Mutchler, a sociologist at the University of Massachusetts, supports this theory. For sons, it is about the grandparental relationship with whom they married, Fingerman added.
Geography and finances can be an obstacle
A variety of factors can influence a child’s relationship with grandparents. These can be cultural, geographical, financial, etc. Some grandparents can’t travel for health reasons, and others are still working, so nothing is set in stone. However, there is a trend that is backed by evolution.
Facing challenges
The University of Turku’s study found that parental grandparents’ support decreases over time, especially during difficult times. The study also revealed that only maternal grandmothers consistently provided support, regardless of the challenges faced.
The worse the situation, the stronger the support
Senior Researcher Samuli Helle from the University of Turku commented that previous studies assumed that grandparents would support children more when dealing with difficult situations. Helle explained that only maternal grandmothers’ significance appears to persist.
Grandparents and the child’s future
Regardless of lineage, grandparents can significantly impact a child’s future. The University of Turku study also suggested that a grandchild’s prospects for successful reproduction may impact the grandparents’ willingness to offer them support.
Not all families are the same
Of course, this is not the case for all paternal or maternal grandparents. And even if paternal grandparents have to work a bit harder to be influential in a child’s life, it is not a competition, but being there for the parents and grandchildren is precious.
21 Obvious Signs of People with Low Intelligence
