12 Signs You Were an Overly Independent Child That Are Negatively Impacting Your Life 

Being independent and self-sufficient is a great trait in adults. Still, if you grew up an overly independent child, you might face issues that can negatively affect your overall well-being. Children who grew up excessively independent were usually a product of parents who were raised similarly or struggled too much. Here are some common difficulties a self-reliant child could face as an adult. You might find that some signs are conflicting, but that is because not all people share the same experiences when they are overly independent children. 

You isolate yourself

Overly independent children often grow up into hyper-independent adults. You might feel the need to isolate yourself because it is your self-induced coping mechanism. Isolation, in many cases, leads to loneliness and negatively affects your body and mind.  

You are too hard on yourself

If you are often too self-critical and indulge in negative self-talk despite having no apparent reasons, it signals that you have higher standards for yourself than others. It can lead to frustration and anxiety and decrease your already low self-esteem. 

You only have sympathy for others 

While you are full of empathy and compassion for others, you do not treat yourself in the same manner. Forgiving others for their shortcomings may come quickly to you, but you are prone to self-criticism regarding your mistakes. 

You don’t know how to deal with your feelings

Accepting your fears, sadness, or similar emotions might be hard for you. Instead of dealing with them, you become a master of distraction or even pretend that these feelings don’t matter. Think of what you would say to a friend who is frustrated and notice how your self-talk compares. 

You don’t like talking about your feelings

Since you likely struggle to process your emotions, whether positive or negative, you want to avoid conversations about them. Bottling up emotions can discourage us from processing them and make them harder to handle, but that’s what you learned in childhood. That’s why you want to avoid emotionally charged arguments. You might struggle in your relationships because of this learned behavior.  

You might expect independence from everyone else

Sometimes, overly independent children project their independence to others. This could be a result of an avoidant attachment style, meaning you are self-sufficient and uncomfortable with intimacy. You expect others to act according to your standards to avoid dealing with emotions. 

You tend to procrastinate

Procrastination is caused by negative beliefs you have about yourself. You often do this because you hold yourself to high standards, so making a wrong decision can feel devastating. Those who procrastinate tend to have higher anxiety and poor impulse control. 

You don’t like talking about yourself at all 

Generally, people who do not like sharing their life stories struggle with low self-esteem. While you are a good listener and enjoy hearing other people’s ups and downs, you get awkward when it comes to talking about your life. 

You do not ask for help 

You likely grew up believing that if you ask for help, you are burdening your parents or caregivers. Instead, you carry the burden by yourself without realizing that you are depriving loved ones of offering their assistance. However, you don’t think twice about it when someone asks you for help. 

You don’t know how to receive help 

Despite not asking, your loved ones might have shown up and offered to assist you with a task or issues involving your emotions. You might do this for others, but when the roles are reversed, you feel unease, perhaps even more significant than thinking about asking for help. 

You get overwhelmed easily 

Since you don’t know how to delegate or ask for assistance, stress and/or burnout symptoms are bound to occur. Asking for help is related to technical tasks as well as emotional ones, and if you feel uncomfortable sharing them, it only prolongs the sense of being overwhelmed. 

You have too many responsibilities

A combination of not asking for assistance, mistrust in people, and a sense that one has to hold oneself to higher standards often leads one to take on too many tasks. It may be your coping mechanism, but it comes with increased anxiety and even burnout symptoms. 

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