14 Things The Parents Of Mentally Strong And Successful Kids Never Do

All parents want their children to grow into healthy, happy, and successful adults capable of dealing with life’s challenges. However, some are more successful than others, and their children grow up into resilient and capable people. Here is what they don’t do, which could help you if you are expecting or want to improve your parenting skills. 

Don’t overreact

Children notice more than we want to admit. They read our emotions and moods, so even if you don’t straight up tell them you are disappointed in their grade, remember there is always time to fix it. Your overreactions can cause a child to develop anxiety and negatively affect their motivation and mood. 

Don’t forget what it was like being a child 

Sometimes, it is good to strip off your role as a parent and remember what it felt like to be a child again. This is suitable for you and for your relationship with your child. It will spark more empathy and even give you some creative ideas on approaching your child’s current problem or how to better prepare them for the future. 

Don’t be negative 

Michele Borba told Make It that how we view the world spills to our children. It is easy to always be pessimistic, especially in today’s world, but an optimistic environment helps them focus more on solving problems. You don’t always have to be a ray of sunshine, but a healthy dose of optimism will teach a child to grow even when things seem too challenging. 

Don’t praise them only when they show results 

Children’s efforts and character are more important than getting a good grade or winning a competition, Will Elliott, a life coach and co-founder of The Action Effect, confirmed. Praising only results does not give children enough space to grow and try new ways to solve problems. 

Don’t ignore the other parent 

Daniel Amen, M.D., reminded parents that undermining the other parent decreases the child’s self-esteem. By saying negative things about the other parent, a child could perceive them as saying these things about them because children know they are products of two people.  

Never stop answering their questions 

Children are curious, and though they might annoy you, this is how they learn about the world. Dr. Kumar Mehta confirmed that most accomplished people had parents who encouraged their curiosity since it is a way for kids to learn. Answering them will only help them to continue exploring the world and opening themselves to more knowledge. 

Don’t forget to spend enough time with your child 

If work and other obligations keep you out of your child’s life, your child might feel lonely and left out. As they grow, they might start acting out, so it is essential to have family time, even 10 minutes each day, to learn about what’s happening in their lives. On weekends, you can create family time, where you have fun and talk about important issues and your children’s feelings. Try to eat at least dinner with your children every evening.    

Don’t punish children

Any kind of physical punishment or shouting at your child will only make them anxious and afraid, but it will not teach them valuable lessons. Explain the consequences of your child’s behavior to give your child a chance to do the right thing. Disciplining your children is not the same as punishing them. You need discipline to have a healthy and happy child, though you will soon learn to pick your battles. 

But don’t overindulge them either 

Letting your child do whatever they want will leave them without a vital life skill: self-discipline. Setting clear rules can help children understand they can be whatever they want or get whatever they need, but they must put effort into their tasks. 

Don’t forget your kids look up to you 

You are a superhero for your child, at least until they hit puberty. Once they do, they will need you even more, so it is up to you to be a role model, someone they can look up to and turn to. If you don’t want your children to spend all the time on their phones, you shouldn’t either. If you want them to eat healthy, you should set an example. 

Do not compare your children 

Comparing your child to their sibling tends to hide their authentic selves to please their parents. Each child comes with a set of unique skills, and comparing them will result in one feeling worthless. Treat them as individuals with their own sets of goals and aspirations. 

Don’t dismiss their emotions 

Saying your child, “Don’t be sad,” means nothing. Instead, try to understand what’s behind their sadness and ask them what would make them feel better. Don’t minimize your child’s feelings because it will teach them to suppress them. Use these moments to introduce them to find ways to handle their emotions. 

Don’t expect perfection 

If you don’t teach your child to fail, you are robbing them of one of life’s essential skills. It is not about the failure but how you bounce back, which is an important lesson. Therefore, you have to let your child understand there will be failures, but they should use them as learning experiences. 

Don’t allow them to avoid responsibility

To teach your children how to be problem solvers, you have to teach them responsibility. Help them understand the connections between the choices they make and the results. It will be hard for them to understand the consequences of not teaching for tests beyond grades, but this is where parenting creativity kicks in. 

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