20 Rudest Things You Can Do at Someone’s Wedding (Don’t Be that Guest!)

Weddings mark that extra special day for the couple, who invest so much to make it truly memorable. As someone invited, the last thing you’d want is to be that rude guest everyone remembers for all the wrong reasons. To steer clear of embarrassment for both yourself and the newlyweds, there are certain rude behaviors that are definite no-gos at weddings.

Fighting for the Bouquet

You don’t want to appear desperate during a wedding, and nobody wants a scene where the bouquet is caught like a football. As etiquette expert Diane Gottsman says, just let the bouquet land naturally where it’s tossed. 

No pushing or shoving – just have fun and being polite towards other guests.

Outshining the Bride or Bridesmaids

Choosing your wedding guest attire can be tricky. You want to look your best, but it’s important not to outshine the bride or bridesmaids. If you’re clueless about the bridesmaid dress color, it’s best to play it safe and avoid wearing anything close to their potential color palette. 

Steer clear of mimicking their silhouettes as well. This ensures the bridal party remains distinct throughout the celebration.

Getting Overly Emotional 

Weddings can certainly stir up some feelings if you’re struggling in your own love life. But letting those emotions overflow (especially after a few too many drinks) isn’t a good look. As Gottsman suggests, if you start to feel overwhelmed, politely excuse yourself and take a moment to regain your composure.

• Maybe skip this one?: If you know getting overly emotional is a strong possibility, consider politely declining the invitation. Gottsman advises that if you’re in the midst of a difficult divorce, prioritizing your emotional well-being might mean not attending any weddings at all.

Bringing Your Kids without Invitation

Even if your kids are perfectly well-behaved, it’s important to respect the RSVP if they weren’t included in the invitation. Couples plan their weddings with a certain vision in mind and unexpected childcare issues can arise at any time.

If you can’t make it without your children, it’s better to decline the invitation outright instead of showing up with them uninvited.

Arriving Too Early

While punctuality is great, arriving way too early for the ceremony can actually be disruptive. If you show up before the venue’s even ready, you’ll potentially cause extra stress for the couple as they finalize things. 

As Holly Patton Olsen from Perfectly Posh Events suggests, relax in your car for a bit. It’s better to wait than accidentally bumping into the bride before the big reveal!

Showing Up Too Late

Just as showing up too early can be considered rude, arriving too late is also frowned upon in terms of wedding etiquette. There’s a sweet spot for arrival time. Aim to be in your seat comfortably by 10 minutes before the ceremony starts, as Brand Hamerstone from All Events Planned suggests. 

Strolling in just as the bride walks down the aisle is a major no-no, not to mention it throws off those precious wedding photos and videos.

Grabbing a Bottle from the Open Bar

Wedding open bars are inviting, but it’s important to be mindful of your consumption. Grabbing a beer or glass of wine? Cool, but taking an entire bottle of champagne (or something stronger) is a big no-no, unless you want to become the “unruly guest” everyone’s talking about. 

As etiquette expert Diane Gottsman says, keep it classy and let the bartender handle the pouring. They’re there to ensure everyone has a good time, and that includes responsible drinking.

Changing Your Mind about Food

RSVPs help ensure the caterer has enough food for everyone. So, if you initially selected “chicken” or “fish” on the invitation, it’s best to stick with that choice. This helps the kitchen maintain a smooth flow and avoids last-minute chaos. 

The only exception is if you discover you have a severe allergy to your chosen dish. In that case, politely asking to switch from fish to chicken (or vice versa) is perfectly acceptable. But for all other reasons, enjoy the delicious meal the couple has chosen for you.

Taking (and Sharing) Snaps of the Ceremony

While the urge to share those special wedding moments can be strong, you need to remember that the privilege of sharing those cherished wedding photos should belong to the newlyweds. 

Give the couple the chance to post their favorite moments first, unless they have created a specific wedding hashtag and are encouraging guests to share photos using it.

Leaving Your Wedding Favor Behind

Wedding favors are a sweet memento for guests to take home. But what if you’re unsure whether to grab one? The safe bet is to take it. After all, it’s essentially a gift from the couple. Still, you want to resist the urge to come back for another if you accidentally forget yours later. 

The couple might have a few extras at home, but generally, guests shouldn’t try to track down a forgotten favor.

Pointing out Minor Issues

Weddings are already busy events, and the couples are usually focused on celebrating their love and making sure everyone enjoys themselves. So, if you notice a minor issue, like a misplaced napkin dispenser, resist the urge to point it out to the couple or their close family. 

As Josh Spiegel from Birch Event Design advises, don’t add any extra stress to their already busy day. If something seems off and you really can’t let it go, politely mention it to a staff member at the venue.

Wearing White 

While it might seem obvious, it’s worth mentioning that wearing white to a wedding is one of the rudest things you can do. 

Even if some brides opt for non-traditional colors, it’s still a gesture of respect to steer clear of white attire entirely. After all, there’s a vast array of other gorgeous colors to choose from!

Not Acknowledging the Couple

While a large wedding might make individual conversations difficult, it’s still important to acknowledge the couple in some way. Try to say hello, goodbye, or offer congratulations (except of course, while they’re enjoying their meal.).  

Even if you don’t get a face-to-face moment, you can still reach out via phone or email the next day to express your congratulations and share how much you enjoyed the celebration.

Taking the Whole Vase (and the Flowers!)

Most wedding receptions allow guests to take home the floral centerpieces from the dining tables as a memento. However, this doesn’t extend to the vases themselves. The venue or florist likely rents those out, and taking them could leave the couple with an unexpected bill. 

As Josh Spiegel from Birch Event Design says, avoid any awkward situations by admiring the beautiful arrangements and leaving the vases behind. You can always grab a few blooms to remember the special day.

Bringing a Plus-One 

Plus ones are a lovely way to share the celebration, but only if the invitation explicitly allows it. A single guest shouldn’t show up with a such surprise.  

Don’t forget that weddings can be extremely expensive, and the couple might have limitations on food, drinks, and seating based on their guest list.  Always stick to the RSVP unless the couple specifically tells you it’s okay to bring a guest.

Acting Tired and Bored

Wedding season can be long, and sometimes attending multiple celebrations can dampen your initial excitement. But agree to attend, you’ve made a commitment. 

No matter how many weddings you’ve been to lately, or any inconveniences you faced getting there, muster up your enthusiasm and celebrate wholeheartedly for the bride and groom. Put yourself in the couple’s shoes – you wouldn’t want someone bringing down the mood at your special day, right?

Complaining about Food

Complaining about the dinner is always rude. As etiquette expert Diane Gottsman advises, avoid negativity and just be thankful you’re part of the couple’s special day. 

Even if it’s not a Michelin-starred meal, appreciate the effort they put into the celebration. The main goal of a wedding is celebrating love, not a gourmet experience.

Ignoring the Dress Code

Wedding invitations often come with a dress code, a helpful guide to ensure everyone looks their best while celebrating the couple. It’s extremely important not to ignore the dress code to avoid any awkwardness at the wedding. For example, a casual wedding isn’t the time to unveil your fanciest ball gown. 

Sticking to the dress code is especially important if the wedding has religious considerations. As wedding etiquette expert Anne Chertoff explains, some houses of worship might require covered shoulders for the ceremony. So, respect the venue’s guidelines and show your respect for the couple’s chosen theme.

The Last-Minute No-Show

RSVPing “yes” to a wedding and then deciding not to attend is a major faux pas. But things happen, and sometimes attending becomes impossible. If that’s the case, communication is key.

If attending becomes impossible, it’s crucial to let someone know ASAP. Chertoff suggests contacting the couple directly if it’s before the wedding day. If it’s the actual wedding day, reach out to a parent of the couple or a member of the wedding party to express your apologies and explain the situation.

Disrupting the Work of Photographers

Professional photographers are there to capture the magic of the day. Don’t disrupt their work by stepping into the aisle or blocking their prime shot with your phone. 

As etiquette expert Diane Gottsman advises, remain seated and let the professionals do their job. They’re there to ensure the couple has beautiful memories to cherish forever.

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