37 Things All Parents Secretly Do But Will Never Confess to

Being a parent is a blessing for many, yet it comes with its own set of habits that aren’t exactly something to be proud of. These parental habits are often kept under wraps and aren’t typically brought up in conversations about their children, because, well, no one really needs to know…

Swearing in front of them

Parenting can be incredibly rewarding but also incredibly stressful, leading to moments where less-than-child-friendly language slips out. When that happens, it often necessitates a quick cover-up and a reshaping of the situation to maintain the innocence of the child.

Eating Leftovers

Sustaining oneself on their kids’ leftovers is a common habit among parents who prioritize their children’s needs over their own. It’s not uncommon for many parents to find themselves enjoying a meal made up of their kids’ uneaten food. After all, it’s better than letting it go to waste.

Escaping to the Bathroom  

Being constantly needed by little ones can be draining. Sometimes, the only refuge a parent can find is, well, the bathroom. Don’t judge –  a locked door and a few stolen moments of quiet can be a lifesaver.

Finding Solace in Shared Struggles

Experiencing a public meltdown with your own child can feel like being under the spotlight, but secretly, many parents feel a sense of relief when witnessing another child throwing a tantrum in public. It’s a reminder that these challenging moments are a natural part of the parenting journey and happen to everyone who signed up for this. 

Making Gross Hidden Veggie Recipes for Your Fussy Eaters

Creating meals that disguise vegetables can become a parent’s mission impossible. Many resort to trendy recipes found online, attempting to sneak in those essential nutrients amidst kid-friendly dishes but ending up throwing the whole meal in trash.

Telling Little White Lies  

We all preach honesty to our kids, but sometimes a little white lie is the path of least resistance. Maybe the candy shop is mysteriously closed for the night (at least until the whining subsides).

Checking if their Baby is Alive  

Although new parents are often sleep-deprived, that doesn’t stop them from checking on their peacefully sleeping baby’s breathing. Some might even confess to gently nudging a little one awake (just to be sure.)

Finding the Food of Your Kid Prepared Disgusting

Not enjoying the food your child prepares can be a tricky situation. While the gesture of breakfast in bed is sweet, sometimes the taste doesn’t quite match the effort. It’s the thought that counts, even if the flavors don’t align with your palate.

Lying about When they Last Took a Shower

Sometimes, parents find themselves lying about when they last took a shower. With children taking precedence, personal grooming can sometimes take a backseat. Plus, with the recent buzz surrounding the celebrity bathing debate, it’s tempting to bend the truth a little.

Telling a Grown Adult to Use the Restroom

Have you ever found yourself telling another grown adult that they need to use the restroom? It’s a moment that often prompts the realization that maybe it’s time to socialize more with people your own age.

Feeling Jealous of their Childless Friends

Parents adore their children, but that doesn’t mean they’re immune to feeling envious of their friends without kids. Watching childless friends enjoy freedom and spontaneity can stir up some jealousy, even amidst deep parental love.

Passing off the Diaper Duty 

Sometimes, ignoring a dirty diaper becomes a strategic move. With your partner at home and a stinky situation at hand, faking ignorance and passing off the diaper duty can be a subtle act of negotiation. You innocently hand over the evidence, hoping they’ll be the one to tackle the task.

Taking Coins from their Piggy Bank

Taking a few coins from your child’s piggy bank becomes a tempting solution when you’re short on time and need cash urgently, like when a school trip payment deadline looms. You promise to pay them back later, though that’s dependent on whether you ‘remember’ to. 

Enjoying Your Wine from a Mug

While it’s true that drinking in front of children may not always set the best example, some days call for a bit of wine to maintain sanity. And if sipping from a mug instead of a wine glass helps keep the appearance more discreet, well, it’s a small compromise for the sake of parental well-being.

Being a Hypocrite

Ever caught yourself doing the very thing you just scolded your child for doing? Welcome to the club of parental hypocrisy.

Faking Sleep

Parents often sneakily pretend to be asleep, shifting the responsibility of handling those dreaded middle-of-the-night diaper changes onto the other parent. It’s a common (albeit a bit shameful) parental tactic developed through months of sleepless nights, but we’ve all been there at least once.

Blaming the Dog for the Household Chaos 

Blaming the dog for household mishaps can happen when parenting gets tough, and keeping things clean isn’t always feasible in the chaos of busy days. With kids’ stuff scattered everywhere and cleaning feeling like a monumental task, sometimes it’s just easier to point the finger at the dog.

Breaking Screen-time Rules

Adhering to strict screen-time rules for kids is ideal, but there are moments when parents find themselves bending those rules just to catch a break. A tablet can be a lifesaver when you’re trying to juggle household chores or simply need a moment of peace.

Forgetting to Play the Role of the Tooth Fairy

Forgetting to play the role of the tooth fairy is another common parental habit. With kids losing teeth frequently, it’s understandable that sometimes the tooth fairy might be a little forgetful, leading to creative excuses.

Not Being Able to Solve their Math Problems

Helping kids with simple math homework can be a challenge for many parents. The dread sets in when faced with questions beyond their own understanding. If you’ve ever discreetly counted on your fingers to assist your child with basic math, just know that you’re not alone.

Letting them Munch on Unpaid Food 

Allowing your child to snack on groceries before they’re paid for is a common occurrence for many parents. With a significant portion of the budget dedicated to feeding the family, a few nibbles from the shopping cart seem like a minor offense. After all, the supermarket probably won’t mind if your toddler indulges in some grapes or the end of a loaf while you shop.

Cleaning Everything with Baby Wipes

When faced with messes like vomit on the living room floor or accidents near the potty, reaching for baby wipes becomes almost instinctual. While deep cleaning might be more appropriate, the efficiency of baby wipes often wins out at the moment.

Eating their Partially Chewed Food

When your child offers you a partially chewed piece of food with no trash bin in sight, what’s a parent to do? It’s a moment where practicality chooses to eat that thing, despite the less-than-appetizing circumstances.

Bribing them

Using bribery to convince children to cooperate is a tactic many parents resort to. Whether it’s promising sweets, snacks, or extra screen time, it’s all in the name of persuasion. Sometimes, bribery can come in handy in the parental toolkit to get what you want or just snag some “me” time.

Indulging in their Chocolate

Indulging in your child’s chocolate might seem contradictory to health warnings, but it’s a responsible move to prevent excess sugar consumption and dental issues, right? Besides, it’s a small sacrifice for their well-being.

Skipping LOTS of Pages of the Bedtime Story

Skipping pages during bedtime stories becomes a tactic for efficiency, especially when time is precious and the desire to sleep is strong. While they might catch on eventually, for now, seizing every opportunity to dodge boring storytime is worth the risk.

Allowing them to Stay home Because they’re ‘Tired’

Occasionally allowing your child to stay home from school because they’re feeling tired is a temptation many parents give in to. Some mornings are just too challenging to manage the routine, so opting for a cozy morning in bed feels like the best choice for everyone’s well-being.

Making the Plain Food

Serving plain and simple food is sometimes a necessity, especially when dealing with a picky eater or lacking energy for elaborate meal preparation. Despite its simplicity, the only important thing is that they’re getting nourishment, even if it’s not the most exciting culinary experience.

Snooping on them

While snooping on your kids’ activities can be seen as a breach of trust, it’s a natural instinct for parents to want to know what their children are up to. Whether it’s peeking at their social media or checking in on their whereabouts, some level of monitoring is often justified as ensuring their safety and well-being.

Making Mystery Disappearances  

Remember those noisy kazoos and whistles from party favors? They have a funny way of vanishing into thin air. Parents everywhere seem to suffer from amnesia when it comes to these ear-splitting toys.

Giving them Expired Milk

Offering their child expired milk becomes a quick solution when there’s no time for a trip to the store before the morning rush. A cautious taste test to ensure it’s still palatable reassures the parent, who may also rationalize that expiration dates are often overly cautious anyway.

Lying about the Bedtime

Exaggerating about what time their children go to bed is something many parents are guilty of. While everyone wants to project an image of having a strict bedtime routine, the reality is often far from it. Flexibility is key when it comes to managing sleep schedules in a busy household.

Losing Sympathy for their Childless Friends

Parents may find themselves losing sympathy for their childless friends when they hear complaints about tiredness. It’s a natural reaction, though perhaps best kept to oneself to avoid any unintended offense. At the end of the day, everyone is fighting their own battle! 

Scaring them with Just a Face

Attempting to scare their child with just a facial expression is a tactic born out of desperation. Sometimes, parents need to convey a message of caution without drawing unwanted attention in public or when words fail them. 

Wiping their Face with a Licked Finger

Using a licked finger to wipe food or dirt off your child’s face is a fallback option when wipes are nowhere to be found in public. Even the most prepared parents can find themselves resorting to a bit of spit-shining when necessary.

Facing Eerie Encounters

Parents can also experience moments of fear caused by their own children. Whether it’s waking up to a spooky figure looming at bedside or discovering a destroyed plush toy and fearing the worst, these moments are part and parcel of parenthood. It’s a shared experience among parents, reassuring them that they’re not alone in facing such eerie encounters.

Sucking their Dummy Clean

When your baby tosses their dummy out of the pushchair and you realize you forgot to bring a sterilized spare, you’re left with a dilemma: either clean it off yourself or endure their persistent cries for the rest of your outing. After all, a little dirt might actually be beneficial for their immune system…

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